How y'all been? Well once again I've got something to share, contemplat
So
here's that "anything else" I was talking about that I just realized. I
love romantic comedies, duh. But what I now know is the reasoning behind
that. Being single, you don't have a lot of moments to feel compassion
and love for something as someone that's in a relationsh
SO exploring, that was fun. Here's why:
Yes I shall be uploading these to my DeviantArt page, I am right now in fact. Aaaaaand DONE. Ok so yeah, that's about as much urban exploration that I did in 1 day. Not bad huh? Considering I had 2 excruciatingly tired friends at the end of it all. To be honest, I was too. Walking for 5 hours and adventuring can be quite tiring at the end. It was quite fun though. I learned more about paying attention to detail and taking any opportunity you can. Which explains the broken lightbulb photo that you see before you, somewhere up there. I found a lightbulb and broke it, simple as that. More fun than it sounds though. And that's Day 1 of my 4day break, I'll keep you guys updated if anything else exciting happens. Yeah nothing exciting happened, if anything that was my highlight.
On another topic, contemplation. About what exactly? I guess everything. Looking back at all the choice I've made, I don't regret many. And I'm being generous with the word many. Not that time I drank in Russia over the summer, not the time I was rejected by 5 girls in a row in under 1 minute (which is a world record I'm pretty sure). What I do regret though, is wasting my own fucking time. I don't understand why it's taken me this long to realize it, but I have been. The charade that "Oh you're a teen, it's what they do!" can only do so much for you when you realize you have NO social life. Albeit people think I'm smooth with my words, the reputation doesn't do much if you can't prove it to yourself. It takes a certain someone to accept that there's something wrong with their life, it takes another person to do something about that. What do I see wrong? No, not everything. My life isn't necessarily bad. If I go at the pace I'm going right now, I can live a steady life. But that's not what I want, I want an extraordinary life. I want to look back and be more than satisfied with the extraordinary things I did. Funny word extraordinary, it's as if it describes something as ordinary as an Apple but makes it EXTRA ordinary. To think superordinary didn't take its place. Anyways, I just want change. It's gotten to the point where I'm sitting right now and I'm fed up with my fucking waste of a weekend. I haven't done SHIT the past 3 days. Honestly the most work I did was read 3 chapters of a book that I'm ASSIGNED to read. Most of you seem to have this image of me of how amazing and awesome I am. I'm not trying to raise myself, this is what I hear from you guys. But to be honest, I'm lazy as fuck. And it's just ridiculous at this point because I can't get simple things done like homework. Homework is something that's assigned to you as the MINIMUM amount of work. There's an expectation that you'll go above and beyond it and do research on your own or find an extracurricular task to occupy your time with. Or just do something fucking productive with your time. I'm not fed up with you or anyone else, it's simply my own anger at my wasting time so don't take it personally. All the morals associated with "Well if you think philosophically about something then it's not a waste of time" are really bullshit. Why do I bring this up? Because that's what's been happening with me. I waste the day just not doing shit but I have 1 thought that I go into very deeply and I think that makes me hot shit. Well not exactly, more like it equates the fact that I didn't do shit that day. But it doesn't, because unless an action comes from that thought it's useless. People think about killing each other all the time, but only those that do it actually get shit done. I apologize, that was a very grim example. What I'm trying to say is, sitting around hoping for shit to go away or get done won't do anything for you. Get the fuck out of your comfort zone and do something useful with your life. Why am I being so upfront? Because those of you that don't have a brother or sister or anyone to push you, well you need a kick in the ass to get the fuck up sometimes and do something. But then again, take this for what it is for. Some guy sitting on his computer at 10:55 typing endless sentences and paragraphs and whatever else it is with the idea that people should listen to him. I take that back, I don't think people should listen to me. Rather, I think people should take into account what loved ones or close friends say to them about their life. How you view yourself differs from anyone else's view. I see my life very 1 dimensionally, but combined with everyone else's view then you get a full perspective of what my life really is. Both the good and the bad. But I don't think you need to see all the perspectives, more like only the people that are close to you and those that aren't afraid to call you out on bullshit. A friend is a friend, but a best friend or a companion will not hesitate that you're making a grave choice with your life. They will not hesitate to tell you you're an asshole because they know you can take it, and they understand that you clearly need to be told that. But that being said, anyone that close to you understands that not only can you take it they understand how harsh they should be and won't go over the top with it. Holy fuck I write a lot, sorry if your eyes hurt. Here have a kitten.
On another topic, contemplation. About what exactly? I guess everything. Looking back at all the choice I've made, I don't regret many. And I'm being generous with the word many. Not that time I drank in Russia over the summer, not the time I was rejected by 5 girls in a row in under 1 minute (which is a world record I'm pretty sure). What I do regret though, is wasting my own fucking time. I don't understand why it's taken me this long to realize it, but I have been. The charade that "Oh you're a teen, it's what they do!" can only do so much for you when you realize you have NO social life. Albeit people think I'm smooth with my words, the reputation doesn't do much if you can't prove it to yourself. It takes a certain someone to accept that there's something wrong with their life, it takes another person to do something about that. What do I see wrong? No, not everything. My life isn't necessarily bad. If I go at the pace I'm going right now, I can live a steady life. But that's not what I want, I want an extraordinary life. I want to look back and be more than satisfied with the extraordinary things I did. Funny word extraordinary, it's as if it describes something as ordinary as an Apple but makes it EXTRA ordinary. To think superordinary didn't take its place. Anyways, I just want change. It's gotten to the point where I'm sitting right now and I'm fed up with my fucking waste of a weekend. I haven't done SHIT the past 3 days. Honestly the most work I did was read 3 chapters of a book that I'm ASSIGNED to read. Most of you seem to have this image of me of how amazing and awesome I am. I'm not trying to raise myself, this is what I hear from you guys. But to be honest, I'm lazy as fuck. And it's just ridiculous at this point because I can't get simple things done like homework. Homework is something that's assigned to you as the MINIMUM amount of work. There's an expectation that you'll go above and beyond it and do research on your own or find an extracurricular task to occupy your time with. Or just do something fucking productive with your time. I'm not fed up with you or anyone else, it's simply my own anger at my wasting time so don't take it personally. All the morals associated with "Well if you think philosophically about something then it's not a waste of time" are really bullshit. Why do I bring this up? Because that's what's been happening with me. I waste the day just not doing shit but I have 1 thought that I go into very deeply and I think that makes me hot shit. Well not exactly, more like it equates the fact that I didn't do shit that day. But it doesn't, because unless an action comes from that thought it's useless. People think about killing each other all the time, but only those that do it actually get shit done. I apologize, that was a very grim example. What I'm trying to say is, sitting around hoping for shit to go away or get done won't do anything for you. Get the fuck out of your comfort zone and do something useful with your life. Why am I being so upfront? Because those of you that don't have a brother or sister or anyone to push you, well you need a kick in the ass to get the fuck up sometimes and do something. But then again, take this for what it is for. Some guy sitting on his computer at 10:55 typing endless sentences and paragraphs and whatever else it is with the idea that people should listen to him. I take that back, I don't think people should listen to me. Rather, I think people should take into account what loved ones or close friends say to them about their life. How you view yourself differs from anyone else's view. I see my life very 1 dimensionally, but combined with everyone else's view then you get a full perspective of what my life really is. Both the good and the bad. But I don't think you need to see all the perspectives, more like only the people that are close to you and those that aren't afraid to call you out on bullshit. A friend is a friend, but a best friend or a companion will not hesitate that you're making a grave choice with your life. They will not hesitate to tell you you're an asshole because they know you can take it, and they understand that you clearly need to be told that. But that being said, anyone that close to you understands that not only can you take it they understand how harsh they should be and won't go over the top with it. Holy fuck I write a lot, sorry if your eyes hurt. Here have a kitten.
Ok the 3rd one is just for laughs. But nonetheless your eyes needed a break. Anyways I'm gonna go now because I promised my brother I'd be in bed by 11:15. Why did I tell you this and not another excuse? Because I think that my words should start meaning something to my family instead of stark emptiness. So yeah, Read it, Learn it, Live it, Love it, and Post it.
Cheers, MarkL
Cheers, MarkL
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