Awareness

Don't worry this isn't some bullshit piece about bullying. You know, the one where they try to raise "awareness" by repeating what those that get bullied can do instead of trying to make people sympathize with bullies. There's a whole slew of topics wrong with articles about bullying but that's for another day. Today's post is going to be simply about awareness and how little of it we have, I'll get into the details as I talk more.

I find it incredible the things we don't often notice. Like the bumps and craters along a piece of chalk, the endless mazes that are our fingertips, the ties and threads within our eyes, how close the moon seems, the list is endless. All of the things I listed there are put into plain sight, anyone can see them at any given moment if they decide to put their attention into it. But what amazes me more is the amount of things that we aren't aware of in present time simply because we don't know that they exist. The human brain doesn't come with a manual of things to notice or look out for, that would ruin all the fun. But at any given moment there is an infinite amount of ideas, objects, people, etc. that you aren't aware of. Like how electric signals are sent through your keyboard with each stroke, how clothes are manufactured (the entire process, not just the stitching but making the material as well), and a slew of other things. Just now I found it hard to list those things because I'm not aware of them, I might be someday but not at the present moment. It may seem like a waste of time to pay attention to these things now, but why then were we so centered around them when we were children? Noticing the slightest indents and scratches on a coin, trying to decipher every letter and what it meant, visualizing where that coin could have been days ago and who's handled it. Or at least that's what occupied my mind on occasion, that and exploring any other details that were captivating.

Just stopping in my tracks once a while and taking a deep breath transports me back into this child-like state of wonder. Trying it during class just takes time away from my studies, it's tough finding time for these essential moments. I used to marvel at shiny objects like any child, coins especially. It boggled my mind that pieces of metal had worth, a certain amount of them could get you lunch if you had enough. I didn't understand that they were necessary and so in turn I had less to worry about. At this point I don't have a lot to worry about either: university, grades, personal life, that's all that pops into my mind at the moment. Feels to me as we grow up we pay less attention to details and move on to things as a whole. When I think of my street I don't think about each miniature "road" within the cracked pavement, instead I think about all the apartment buildings and streetlights. It's really a matter of perspective, but even those few seconds being grounded can really make you think. Taking those headphones off, standing in the middle of a calm street, noticing what you hadn't before, and hopefully realizing why you're here in the first place. At least that's what I hope for often times, strange how some people assimilate the looks of contemplation with that of moroseness.

I haven't had my phone for 2 weeks now, tried installing a custom OS and failed. Being cut off from unnecessary texts and notifications has been gratifying. Turns out I don't need a phone to survive, at all actually. I like this freedom, no reason to worry during class or even have the temptation. Now I know why my brother refuses to buy a smartphone and is aiming to get an oldschool Nokia, I wouldn't go as far as to do that myself but the sentiment stays regardless. This post is most likely the result of a social binge and an excellently executed 8tracks playlist, but I digress. Enjoy your day, I hope it's meaningful.

Cheers, MarkL

Surviving Highschool

EVERY POST BELOW THIS ONE (INCLUDING THIS ONE) ARE ALL OF THE GRAFFITI ARTICLES THAT I SUBMITTED, WHETHER OR NOT THEY WILL BE PUBLISHED I HAVE POSTED THEM HERE. ENJOY.

I was asked to write this post specifically, apparently I'm good at what I do. What am I exactly good at you may ask? According to some people I'm good at writing, blogs especially. At this point I imagine that I've already lost half my readers by simply uttering that word, good riddance. Soon enough in this "post" you'll learn why I feel this way. It all started in Grade 9, being the shy and awkward adolescent that I was in a brand new school I obviously felt the need to share my opinion. I had transferred school from Don Mills Collegiate to our amazing NTCI. The move was big, bigger than I had anticipated. Lost all of my friends, new teachers, new everything really. And so with that I realized that I could create a brand new identity for myself, who wouldn't want a second chance? I took advantage of that and still do, you'd be surprised what people still don't know about you even at Grade 12.

That being said I realized that this was also an opportunity to share my opinions freely. In middleschool I wasn't the most liked of kids, always had something to say and I could never control it. Got the hang of it over the years but to this day I catch myself saying unnecessary things sometimes. With that in mind I started a blog because it was one of the only places I could share my opinion without receiving too much attention about it. Simply the act of venting was more than enough for me. I wrote about anything ranging from drugs to school life, both of which I knew nothing about. Not knowing where to apply myself I simply kept to my blog and nothing else, sure I went to a club meeting once in a while and tried out for the occasional sports team. But the more I wrote the more I became intrigued by it. Sooner or later it became the center of attention and numerous jokes around the school for several months. No it still is really except know those that made fun of it take the occasional glance and read the posts. Hell, I got my exes reading my stuff as well. Sometimes it was too much to bear, all the jokes and whatnot. But I just kept telling myself "You are publishing chapters of your life online, what the hell did you expect?" with that I just kept writing more and more and more. Eventually it transformed from simple rants to semi well rounded points and facts, then it moved into a "lesson" stage where I felt that I needed to share each lesson I learned. Along the way I rated musicians, movies and others. At one point I even asked for user submissions, the response I got wasn't exactly overwhelming but the ones that cared submitted what they had. In the beginning I relied heavily upon my public. When you start with a blog you don't always have a clear purpose, personally I just wanted to see what direction it would take me in. And so far, it's been a good one. My blog has gotten me through 3 relationships, love, loss, pain, anger, and just about anything else you can expect from a teenager. It's pissed a lot of people off but helped a whole lot more, which is all that matters really.

Often when writing my blog posts I try to write whenever I get a hold of an emotion or experience and just keep thinking about it. I find that if I just sit at my keyboard the ideas and thoughts will just spring into life through every keystroke. That "philosophy" has worked for me so far, but not always. Sometimes I forced myself to write because I had made a promise to my readers that I'd write, I genuinely felt bad because I was letting people down that had expectations from me. When I started writing in the beginning I promised them that I'd write once every day, which isn't possible at this point. It's not every day that some thought captivates and grabs a hold of me until I can't resist and am "forced" to write it down. But eventually I just came out and said "Yeah so I realized that I'm not really writing for you guys, this was for me since the beginning and that's how it's going to go. I'll write whenever there is something worth writing and that's that." It felt as if a big weight was lifted from my shoulders when I started writing like that. I didn't have to worry about the expectations of anyone but myself, there was a lot more freedom in my writing. It's not necessarily true that if you're happy you'll be able to write to your best ability. If anything I believe that when you feel absolutely nothing is when you can write the best because you have less of an emotional bias.

When I was asked to write this article I was also asked to talk about what it's like to start a blog and offer some advice, that's what the following will be about. As you're starting out don't worry too much about the domain name and the title of it. I've changed my domain name around 3 times by now, and I'm planning a change for when I go to University. It really depends whether you are CERTAIN that you'll have a common theme with all the posts (like a fandom or a sports related blog). Once you have an idea of what your blog will be about, start designing it! You'll play around with the layout, colours, and wallpaper as time goes on so don't worry about it too much. Honestly I've never had someone comment on the layout on my blog so I don't know if people like it, but the views keep rolling in so it must mean something. The content is what should keep your viewers coming back, a pretty wallpaper is simply eyecandy as they scroll through your posts. You can organize certain pages on your blog if you use blogger, I chose to use that platform because the layout is very accessible and I can connect it to my Google account. Once you're organized and have your layout done, start posting! If you're starting a blog like mine where you simply share whatever captivates you then by all means make your first post about what you expect from your blog. From there, send the link to Facebook and even em@il your friends. Let people know that you're writing and see what they think of it, nothing better than reader feedback. Personally I don't get as much as I'd like, in fact I've gotten more constructive feedback from teachers than students. But accept all advice that you can, reflect on it and see how you can apply it to your writing style. Don't worry too much about editing your post unless you feel that it's necessary for spelling. Blogger doesn't have great spellcheck so copy+paste to Word and work your magic there. Make sure that you write on a regular basis, whether it's once a week to once a month it doesn't matter. As long as you keep your blog alive with writing it gets easier to write every time. Starting out you may not get 100 views on the first day, it took me a long time before that became a regular occurrence. But like Benjamin Franklin said "If you want to be remembered, write something worth reading." If you're simply looking to get views on your blog then there's plenty of websites to buy views from. Or just post nudes, it seems to work for Tumblr.

What I said isn't the perfect guide of course, writing a blog is simply a case by case basis. But there are some points that my Writer's Craft teacher Ms. Wolfe tells us every day when we do our Free Write at the beginning of class. Here is the list:

• Keep your hand moving.

• Lose control.

• Be specific.

• Don't think—get below discursive thought to the place

where your mind is original, fresh.

• Don't worry about punctuation, spelling, grammar.

• You are free to write the worst junk in the world.

• Go for the jugular.

 How you interpret all that is up to you really, and so with that this is where I sign off. Over the course of the past 4 years I've managed to find something that I truly love with a passion. All because I tried something new and went "against" the grain and weathered the storm to come. What have I gotten out of this blog? It's helped me form some new friendships, break off the ones that needed to, and find a major part of my self identity. I've grown up with it just as much as it has with me, I have no idea where this is going to take me but so far it's been in a good direction. So what are you waiting for? Here's the link: baciacalupo.blogspot.com By all means read to your heart's content and let me know what you think.

Cheers, MarkL

P.S. Thanks to all those that have stuck with me throughout the years and kept reading. For the rest of you, what took you so long?

Cosmo

Aunt Mary, Molly, Mama Coca, Aunt Hazel, and Elvis sound like innocent enough names. Not when you’re talking about drugs like Marijuana, MDMA, Cocaine, Heroine, and LSD. But I’m not here to talk about the entire family of downies and uppers, no I am simply here to talk about the most controversial of them all: Marijuana. The sticky icky icky has been puff puff passed by not only your common teenager but also the President of the United States, go figure. The first drug smuggler (Columbus) was known to have brought Mary Jane along on his trips of flight and fancy. Thanks to people like him Marijuana was spreading around the globe like wildfire over the next 200 years. It has continued to grow in popularity as well as controversy to this very day. With 2 American States that have already legalized the Wonder Plant stoners all around proclaim that legalization is closer than ever. The so called “epidemic” has managed to root itself into our dearly beloved higher institutions of learning.  Weed is easier to get in Highschool than it ever has been before, next to alcohol it’s the most accessible “narcotic” to teenagers. I had the pleasure of talking to a dealer whose name has been withheld for obvious reasons. He was kind enough to tell me about his experience with Weed and narcotics all alike, tune into the world of Weed and all its wonder.

1. How long have you been involved with drugs?

Smoked first joint between the summer of grade 9-10, avoided alcohol mostly instead I smoked more than anything. I thought that weed was the worst thing in the world.

2. How did you start off?

There was a 2 month break in between my first 2 sessions, then after that I started to like it and I took off. I had friends who had been doing it for a few years but I wasn’t aware of it. And then one day when I told them that I had smoked they started inviting me to sesh.

3. How often do you do it now?

During school once a week and during Summer every day.

4. How else have you been involved with weed?

I’ve sold a decent amount of weed in the past 2 years. I started off by selling to kids in my neighbourhood; I could’ve got into selling bigger shit because of the neighbourhood I’m in. There are a lot of bigger dealers in my neighbourhood that sell hardcore drugs: cocaine, meth, etc. But I didn’t because that’s fucked up. I don’t want to get involved in gangbanging, it’s a quick way to die. There’s 3 possible outcomes for gangbanging: 1 you die on the streets, 2 you spend the rest of your life in jail, and 3 you spend the rest of your life in a hospital bed.

5. What was your biggest pickup or sale?

I’ve picked up 4-5 oz. for my friends that needed someone to do a pickup and I got to keep a small share of the drop off. At one point I’ve sold half an oz. but I don’t want to get too hard into this. Dealing oz. is too far into it all, I’ll leave that to the hood men in my area. My friend was having a jam and he wanted me to do a pickup for him and his boys. I’ve known this kid for plenty of time so I trusted him a lot. It felt good that I was getting rid of THAT much weed, I got paid a lot. It felt really good to get the money. It’s really easy to sell weed if you know how to.

6. How does a sale usually work?

Someone will text, call, message me and let me know how much they need (10 sack-1 gram) and for when. If it works for me then I confirm the meeting place, a good drug dealer makes sure that they meet their customer where they live. If it’s a small sale you’d have the weed already in your sleeve, do a handshake and exchange the weed for the cash. If it’s a big drop off they gotta give you plenty of time, I’d need a week’s notice for an oz. and anything bigger. We’d find a semi private place like a coffee shop bathroom or alleyway. And he’ll go into the stall, stay there for a minute, he’ll come out and I’d have my money in my hand. I’d put the money in a plastic bag because usually there would be a lot of money ($150-$200). So then you’d go in for a handshake and usually the dealer is wearing a sweater you just slip it into their hoodie pocket. Then they’d leave, I’d enter the stall and there would be a bag FULL of weed in the stall. I usually just carry a mason jar cause it’s smell proof, an oz. can REALLY dank up if you let it. I empty the bag into the jar, close it up and pack it into my bag, throw out the old weed bag and just leave.

7. So there has to be some level of trust if you’re dealing with THAT much cash right?

Yeah of course, I’d never buy more than 3 grams’ worth from a stranger. They can easily cheat you out and pack stems into the bag. Usually after a pickup I scale my score to make sure that I didn’t get cheated out of it. I also pack the stuff afterwards so I need to know how many grams I have on me.

8. How many grams do you have on you on average?

I used to have a lot more than I do now because I wanted to slow down before I got too into it. These days the most I’d have on me is 8 grams.

9. How easy is it to get weed right this moment?

I can get you a gram from Eglinton Station within the hour. Right now I can contact at least any of the 15 numbers I have to get weed.

10. What’s your favourite way to smoke it?

 Blunts. I started with blunts and everyone in my hood smokes them, it’s just a regular occasion. It’s a more expensive way to smoke because instead of standard rolling papers you use a cigar rolling paper. Everyone smokes them because it shows that you have the money to afford it all. Over the years I’ve gotten better at rolling them, I take pride in that art. None of my boys want to smoke a spliff anymore, it’s blunts or nothing. It gives you an extra head rush, the rolling paper.

11. What else do you sell?

Alcohol is a lot harder for me to get, and so I don’t bother getting a hold of it at all. The only places you can get them is the LCBO and Beer Store and so it’s tough. In America and Quebec they just sell them in convenience stores. Here it’s easy to get a hold of blunt papers, pipes, and cigarettes because some convenience stores don’t really care about age. If you want to get alcohol you gotta know someone that’s over 19 and you’re close with. If you’re REALLY desperate you can “shoulder tap”. I never like doing it because it’s risky. If you’re standing around LCBO and you’re looking out for people that can buy you alcohol but it’s VERY risky. They can just run away with the money or call the cops on you and make a big scene out of it.

12. Has it become a part of your life?

Yeah I’ve grown up with it. I don’t do it as often as the other kids at my school do. If there’s a jam happening with booze then yeah I’ll drink of course. It’s a way to really connect with friends that nothing else can do. I’m not saying I need to smoke to hang out with friends, I hang out with them sober most of the time. It’s an easy way to get closer to friends because you start talking about deep stuff and talk about personal things in your life, offer advice and you just connect with them. You sit there and talk about shit with each other, it stays private and it’s like a mini psychiatrist because you get to vent whatever you got inside. I enjoy it enough to tell my parents about it whenever I go out, they accept the fact that I drink but weed is different.

13. Why is weed different do you think?

Well my mom is actually allergic to weed; she never really got to experience the full high. She never got to truly smoke so she turned to the media when finding out about what weed is. She assumes that just because she had a bad reaction to it that as soon as I tried it I’d turn into Jesse Pinkman. When my dad found out he wasn’t as disappointed as my mom because he smoked during College and Highschool so he was fine with it for the most part. He used to smoke cigarettes a lot but I stay away from that, there’s no point to them. I know guys that smoke cigarettes and weed together to make batch, gives you a headrush. They wanted me to stop, and I did stop for a while. I felt really guilty because of how disappointed they were. I got rid of all my paraphernalia out, all my scales and pipes and everything. I gave away all my weed as well. I gave up for 3-4 months and then I knew that I quit until my friend that moved far away from the city. Then when he visited Toronto we went to a jam where people literally shoved weed in my face. I promised myself that I’d smoke this time only but I went back on it. Before I started smoking I didn’t research anything on weed, but during my tolerance break I started doing A LOT of research on what it is and what it does to your body. I realized that it wasn’t as bad as people thought and saw my parent’s disappointed as something irrelevant. Weed is the highest on the drug ladder that I’d go. I’ve been offered shrooms, ecstasy, and cigarettes before.

I don’t toy around with weed; that can get you in shit. People say that you can’t get addicted to weed, of course not. It’s harmless if you smoke in moderation, but you still have to treat it as a narcotic. Same as coffee really, imagine taking 3 espressos a day for 3 weeks. Of course you eventually get addicted to it and the effects wear off, same for weed really. If you smoke 3 grams a day you get used to it in a couple months and you develop a tolerance. You can get addicted to the state that it gives you. If you have enough cash then it’s really easy to buy A LOT of it at once. If you look at some kids all they do is smoke weed, when they do that they’re not stressed or anything. All these pussy ass kids they just smoke to get away from “problems” because apparently their school work is hard as fuck. They’re high 24/7 because they want to run away from problems. THOSE are the kids that start doing meth and shit because weed doesn’t fill their void and so they need to get away more and more.

14. Do you have anything else to add?

Don’t get high off your own supply. Smoke in moderation, once a week. Don’t be peer pressured into anything bigger than weed. People say that shrooms once in a while is fine but make sure that it’s YOUR choice. Weed is really the highest that you should get. Don’t get caught up in the wrong crowd, weed can do that if you let it. It’s so easy to get into gangs, half my friends are into it and honestly I see it every day how easy it is to get into it. No matter how much money they make, it’s not worth it. Don’t go around bragging about it, it’ll come back and haunt you in your life. Anything you post on the internet stays permanent. Until it’s legalized treat it as a narcotic and not as God’s gift because there’s plenty of people out there that aren’t afraid to snitch.

Well there you have it folks, I hope all your questions were answered. If not then feel free to ask your friendly neighborhood dealer! For all you know he/she is sitting beside you right now. Go ahead, ask them!

Cheers, MarkL

BOARD MEETING

By the title you might've guessed that this article would be about a board meeting of some sort, you're not wrong in assuming that. But at this meeting the closest things to boards were the long ones being ridden down Yonge street. Imagine, 1100+ people riding down 1 street. We stopped traffic, TTC, and pissed off plenty of drivers in the process. It was unlike anything else simply because longboarding is unique to this type of event, bikers don't have this and neither do skaters. Imagine riding a bike but 6 inches away from you was another biker. Now multiply that by 1000 and you've got yourself a Board Meeting. Everyone dressed in business attire zooming past downtown and converging in city hall. Don't get me wrong, people weren't as reckless/stupid as you may think.

During the event everyone looked out for each other and several first aid officers were there. If someone fell off their board the first instinct was for everyone behind to stop immediately and wait for the person to get back on again. This was just a glimpse into what kind of a family longboarding introduces you to. Even occasionally when I see a fellow rider, we exchange looks with a simple nod to show mutual respect. It's as if you're a part of some secret club that really isn't that secret. For my first board meeting it was overwhelming to see the amount of support that gathered on the streets. For a good 5 minutes we sat in the middle of St. Clair and Yonge at first. Just enjoying the atmosphere and vibes all around was enough for me. Years ago it was simply 300 people showing up, now the amount has more than tripled. I don't know what will happen next year, but I can tell you this much. I can't wait to liberate the streets again.

Cheers, MarkL

OTTAWA

This Summer I decided that things would be different. That I’d take the time to scope out several Universities and choose from my liking. There are around 1000 hours’ worth of Summer in the 2 months that we have. I think it’s safe to say that I wasted around half of it on the internet, gaming, and other trivial tasks. But there was one thing that made it all worthwhile, my trip to Ottawa. You see, this wasn’t any ordinary trip to Ottawa. This trek would be the deciding factor in my University choices. They say that the journey is simply half the experience; well to me it seemed to be the whole experience. On the advice of Mr. McNaughton I got myself a bus ticket at 6AM and made my way to Ottawa. Waking up at 3AM isn’t on my everyday to-do list, but this wasn’t just ANY day. Getting to the station was an adventure within itself. In hindsight I am incredibly glad that I took my longboard, it gives you a perspective like no other. Well, once I got on the bus the excitement really settled in. For years you “plan” for University by getting good grades and getting involved, but this time was different because I was doing something tangible. The 5 hour trip wasn’t necessarily mind-numbing, but the fact that my music died out not even halfway through was the first deterrent

 Once I got on I went straight to my board because I was already a half hour late. You see, when your only option to get a University tour is by bus every minute starts to add up. The fact that the bus driver was late by an hour nonetheless didn’t help my cause but I couldn’t do a thing about it. Racing down the streets of Ottawa, I was mesmerized to say the least. It had the feel of a small town but with skyscrapers, then again I really only explored a small portion of it. The bike-friendly roads only helped me further enjoy the city by being in the middle of it all. Not quite as chaotic as Toronto gets during rush hour but the city was booming no doubt. And oh the bridges, man that was what got my attention the most. I don’t quite remember the last time I was on one, but looking out on the horizon standing on the Rideau-Canal bridge was like nothing else. Amongst this great urban city there was this glorious body of water reminding us of our roots. Past that was my destination: Ottawa University.

Amongst a small suburban-type neighbourhood was this amazing landmark. Shrubbery was spread as far as the eye could see, that and of course the diverse buildings too. That’s when I realized that the trip was truly worth it, after all what did I have to lose? 20$ and a day’s worth of time? As I kept asking more and more questions about the institution I made sure to make my way around every building possible. The immense gym, green-walled Humanities building, expansive quad, and cozy dorms were what sold me. At that moment I knew that I wanted to attend OttawaU as my first choice University. All I did was come down there on the recommendation of a teacher, asked questions, and made my choice. A couple hours’ worth of research and walking is all it took for me to decide my possible future. I learned a lot from this trip, not only to prioritize my time wisely and figure out who I want to be. But to appreciate your surroundings for what they are. Ottawa is a truly beautiful city, it’d be a dream to attend their University. 

Cheers, MarkL