BTW

Yeah so right now I'm writing 6 articles for my School's newspaper. Yes I'll post all of them as soon as they're edited to perfection. For now just go back to Page 1 and read for days.

Cheers, MarkL

Proverbs

Today in Writer's Craft we were asked to write a passage based on a proverb, you could have asked for a second one to add to your story and so I took that challenge. These proverbs were written from cultures all over the world, ranging from Chinese to Yiddish. I'll explain more about my Free Write after I type it out, so just read until the end for the explanation.

The sieve says to the needle: You have a hole in your tail. No fucking shit he has a hole in his tail you blatant asshole. It's what makes up his being, without it he's USELESS. Jesus Christ man, you have MILLIONS of them all over you. Every single one imperfect, ripped, conjoined. But that's the point, like an intricate spider web you catch the attention of a child's blind mind. Let everyone see and let YOURSELF examine each and every hole with great detail. A needle may have a hole, no matter how obvious, but at least he knows what it's for. Not only that but he doesn't EVER point out the holes in everyone, especially YOU of all people. The heaviest burden is an empty pocket they say. Needle might have 1 hole, but hell it's as if everything you built stands on sand. Nervously waiting for the right breeze to sweep it all off. Built on a foundation of lies, gluttony, hate and sin. Then of course the logical thing is to spread your ailment to everyone else right? Let them feel your pain as you feel it right? Such a prick.


The direction where we took this Free Write was really up to us. Today I wanted to experiment with swearing and tone which we also discussed later on in the class. This is what Ms. Wolfe said after hearing my Free Write. It's very important to use swearing in powerful places, I mean don't use it as a filler but strategically place it within your writing for emphasis. It can be very powerful especially if it shocks the reader. I was surprised that I got positive feedback from the class because as I was writing I felt bad about it really. Simply because I don't enjoy venting because I believe that:

-Nobody really wants to hear about your problems.
-You're not the only one struggling, get over it.
-Rants and opinions are subjective, and are therefore fluff pieces.

There are plenty of arguments both FOR and AGAINST the things that I listed there. But the bottom line is that whether they're truly right or wrong, it's what I believe to an extent at this moment in time. I do realize that there are some people that are willing to listen, that sharing your struggles is one of the best things you can do, and to go for the jugular when writing. What do I mean by that? Well to write the most passionate pieces you have to write about what pisses you off, fills you with melancholy, and generally anything that makes you feel an extreme emotion. Or anything you're really passionate about really, that's when your best writing comes out. As I was writing this I felt that this wasn't really the best that I could do because as I said I simply went off on a tangent and wrote it down. I don't think that this is where my best writer comes out to play, but it sure felt amazing reading it. You know those refutes to arguments that you think of in your free time (mostly in the shower when arguing with yourself)? Well this felt as a release to all that, not entirely but to an extent that could be felt. Oh yeah and I'll post my 6 Graffiti articles together when I finish editing them, submitting them raw wouldn't be the best of ideas.

Cheers, MarkL

Hail Stan

This weekend I learned a lot, the following is not an attempt to I impart any wisdom on any of you. It's simply to discuss what happened and my reactions. I learned what it's like to be cheated out of your money and time, truly be angry at someone, make conversation for the sake of conversation, ignore borders that I encase myself within, accept my problems for what they are and for what they make me, and charity. The weeks have gone by remarkably fast. I don't like it, not one bit. So much to cry about and not enough sense to follow through.

Remember that state that I talked about before? When you feel like you're somewhere between 0 and 1? Not starting yet but on your way? I'm back there, and I'm hating it. It's like a cliff edge I can't seem to grasp for the life of me. It's right there, and it'll sure as hell help me more than the ground that awaits below. But I don't grab it, whether my safety line breaks I do not know, not that it matters. Knowing that I may not grasp onto that ledge is what scares me most. Not pain, not the fall itself, but knowing that it could've been different. Earlier I had a narrative in my head looping about what I would write. I said something along the lines of the following. There is such a thing as the conscious and unconscious mind. Things we do knowingly and things we do because we've been doing them for so long. And then we yell and fight and hate ourselves for it. Retreat to our little world and go back to living, rinse and repeat. I don't believe that there is such a thing as the unconscious mind. Because every decision impacts us, whether present moment or 10 years down the line. We don't realize this right now, anyone below the age of 20 reading this will not understand. And neither do I, I'll only understand when I truly make choices that impact my life. So I'm not preaching when I say that you don't understand, I'm in the same boat. I quickly defend myself like that because I'm sitting on the fence whether I should care about rumors or not, slowly leaning towards yes. Anyways, right now most kids my age are in a safety net. Make 1 wrong move and lose 10% on an assignment instead of your job. What prompts us to fuck up so royally? Our beliefs. They are the roots of our thoughts, which are the trunks of our words, which are our branches of actions, which are our buds of life. Picking off a couple actions won't change the roots of beliefs that they are based on. You must dig down into the roots themselves and uproot the whole tree in order to change.

Not sure if that's all that I'm going to write tonight. My conscious stream seems to be satisfied for tonight. Yeah I'm drawing a blank, whether that's because it's 12:23 or not doesn't matter. I've lost a great deal of time that I can't get back and I'm paying for it now. But I'm happy because I have a bed to sleep in, clean clothes to wear, 3 meals every day, free education, mini computer in my pocket, and a sound mind free of any illnesses as far as I'm concerned. I think I've dove in far enough tonight.

Hail Stan

Cheers, MarkL

Here I am

And so here I am. On a Monday  night soon to be a Tuesday morning. There's something therapeutic about letting go of a dozen balloons. No less because the feeling dwindles. I'll get to that in a minute. So apparently my blog is a thing now that comes up in conversation, who knew? Personally I'm kind of surprised that it's gotten to the point where people are talking about it, privately and publicly mind you. I can't say I'm honoured because I'm not writing solely for you guys to talk about it. I can't say I'm dissatisfied because I write so that I can write some more later on. But I am satisfied, not completely of course but satisfied. Not sure how long this intro is because I'm writing on my phone. Then again writer's craft has taught me to lose sight of word count on many an occasion.

I'm glad that in grade 7 I was taught to scratch out and move on. Whenever I'm writing an exam or test or any assignment in class I sometimes get weird looks from people when I scratch out. Like I said before, there's something therapeutic about letting go of a dozen balloons. Just as there is when you scratch out those meaningless words. Or when you take off those headphones, stop in your tracks and let the essence of the city capture you. Shuffle those few steps back and dare to double take at the red robin nesting high above the corner store sign. Notice how avidly it scours for more twigs nearby to complete its makeshift nest. Smile at the toddler staring blankly as you pass. Stop in awe of the feats of human strength as you notice the local construction site. Men in neon vests stained with oil communing at the blueprints with all their Camel cigarettes. Ain't that the life? Disconnecting yourself is a world in its own, if you let it be. I'm not saying we should ditch the comforts of Netflix and Starbucks for a couple leaves and a hole in the ground. But there is a world AROUND us after all, in fact a bigger one than the one in your hand or in front of your face or even in your pocket right now.

I think that's it for tonight, sleep is getting the best of me and this is a fight worth losing. I'll post my unedited Graffiti articles here once I write them, soon.

Cheers, MarkL