Blank Canvas

And here we are again

"Fuck you Mark, what took so long?"

"OMFG FINALLY YOU BITCH, ilu though."

etc.

Get over yourselves, I only write when I'm inspired and feel like it. Also, exams. So yeah, shut up for a second and read. And I mean, close Skype, turn off the TV, every distraction. Turn over your phone. I really don't care if you won't do it, but do you want the most out of this post? Then listen to what I say. I don't simply suggest things for the fuck of suggesting them, there's a reason behind everything I say so maybe listen? You of all people should know that. So, what's new? Well I LIVED last week for 3 days. And I'm not talking I took a deep breath of air outside on my balcony as I walk out in nothing but my undies every morning. That's a habit at this point so don't worry. So what do I mean when I say I "Lived"? I'll get to that in a minute. Also, I had a sleepover for the first time in years. I'll also go into detail but not too much later on. Hmmm what else, oh yeah I found a street artist and attended a conference and had exams and shit. So let's get to it then?


Lived, yes I did. Well what I mean by that is just because you're alive doesn't mean you're living. Why the hell were we put on this Earth for? Luck? The theories have been debated for centuries. But I find that irrelevant, the fact that we exist is enough for me. That being said, existing is what people see as living nowadays. What we do with the life we're given is up to us. All the memories we make either haunt or revisit us with smiles along our journey. That's essentially what a teenager is all about. Slowly entering adulthood, making mistakes, fuckin around, etc. With some of the consequences an adult would have but dramatically decreased. Lost some sleep? Late to school, late slip, etc. Late to work? Possibly fired. So yeah, it ain't easy for adults. And that's what we have our teens for, to explore our boundaries and discover ourselves. As you may or may not know I'm not exactly a party goer. And up until now I haven't liked it one bit, but as of recent I've slowly been accepting it as a part of my personality. I guess I don't like the whole party scene. I don't do hook ups, I don't get drunk in groups, I don't like to smoke in a loud environment, etc. It doesn't make me a loner, it doesn't make me an outcast, I just don't like partying. I'll save all that for school dances where I can actually socialize with my hips instead of my mouth. So what have I been up to the past week? What do I consider living? Well here's the thing, my week went off like this. Monday - Two exams, Tuesday - Two exams AND PARENTS LEAVE AT 6PM FOR MONTREAL TO COME BACK ON FRIDAY AT 11, Wednesday - Last exam. So I was home alone for 3 days. What did I do with those days? On the first day, Wednesday, I just relaxed THE FUCK OUT. Turned on my speakers, called a few buddies on Skype and gamed ALL NIGHT LONG. Stayed up until 2 when I saw this guy that was posting some posters near my apartment building, looked illegal (I'll go into detail later) Then on Thursday I invited a friend over. You know how it works nowadays. 1 gram of the green stuff, Яum, and a Gamecube to top it all off. Man oh man, first time I got drunk. You know how girls gossip all the time and how people talk during class? Well I don't do that as much as other people do, and hell, this was MY time to UNWIIIIIIIIIIIND. Just talked about random shit, girls, school, musicians, etc. It was so awesome. And to top it all of since I had NEVER gotten a console for my birthday or anything it was my first time playing a Gamecube with a friend. Super Smash Bros, Mario Strikers, it was amazing. The yelling and laughing was too hard to keep track of, I was having the time of my life. And then as the evening was winding down, my sleepover was about to begin. So I kindly let my friend out the door, cleaned up, showered (I'll explain soon), and got out the NICE home clothing. You know what I'm talking about, the NICEST pair of sweats you've EVER seen with the most Sw@ggerific shirt GAP had. Who was the friend that was sleeping over? The identity of the lucky somebody will be kept secret, but I'll tell you this much: t'was a lady. That's right, A LADY FRIEND slept over at MY place. How the hell have I made it this far? Like what the fuck. If you gave me ONE look in grade 9 you would NEVER expect that THIS is the kid that gets a girl to sleep with him. Did we do the nasty? No. She's actually really nice. First we chilled on my balcony, I have a patio set now and she LOVES the views as does everyone. Want to impress the ladies? LIVE SUPER HIGH UP. Also, then I warmed up some food which she saw as cooking for some reason. But hey, she though it was hot so I couldn't care less. PRO TIP FOR GUYS: Learn to warm up food WITHOUT a microwave, girls see that as a form of cooking. Then we settled down on the carpet and watched 50/50. Which is an amazing movie that shows the struggles of a cancer patient and the effects it has on his surrounding friends/family/doctors. Yes, I talked through the movie. Paused a couple times even to talk about what was going on. But I'm a discussion based person and I can't just sit though a movie and NOT talk. It's who I am, sorry. Anyways, we both like the movie. Wanted to go downstairs for a walk at 1AM but decided against it as she was SUPER tired and I was fine with that. Then we went to my bed and fell asleep, how cute right?

Ok crap I gotta go to another paragraph, too much text. Moving on, the sleepover was great. Falling asleep with her was my favorite part. It was just so peaceful and fulfilling, nothing else like it. I was the first one to wake up, AS ALWAYS. Poked her until she woke up as well, then we went to make breakfast. ANOTHER PRO TIP FOR GUYS: LEARN HOW TO MAKE STUFF OUT OF EGGS, GIRLS THINK IT'S SUPER HOT. Then after breakfast we went back to bed and just chilled for a couple hours. The entire ordeal was just amazing. Why did I tell you all of this? I decided it was significant to share. I mean I tell you guys about every girl that held or currently holds a place in my life, she's just the next one. But is she the one? I don't know, we'll see how things work out. But I'll tell you this much. She's well spoken, talented, HEALTHY, gracefully beautiful, has the best laugh, and it's SO fun to make her laugh. And now we got the Summer to see where this "thing" takes us. So how was all of that living? It made me feel alive. The fact that I was sharing intimate moments with both a close friend and a lady friend was one of the greatest experiences ever. It was the BEST way to start off the Summer. I mean look at it this way. Had I not met that girl or had I not had my friend introduce me to grass then where would I be? I would've sat on my ass for 3 days straight and gamed my brains RIGHT OUT OF MY ASS. Yeah ok I still would have walked at 1am and maybe I would've invited a friend, but nothing like what happened would have happened. Back to the whole "How did I live" thing. Well let's just say I found a hobby worth doing, this relates to the guy that I saw putting posters up. As of recent I started an arts project. Why? To see where it takes me. Can I draw? Fuck no. But I can sure as hell SKETCH and photoshop just a bit. Where can you see my work?  https://www.facebook.com/UnderestimatedGentleman?ref=hl

Well I posted some of my sketches and my U.G. name on a Street Art forum and some guy decided to take the sketches and post them up. Illegal? Yes. Fun? Well I sure as hell get a kick out of seeing my art up on the web. I just wish it got more attention, the guy has talent trust me. All he needs is a sharpie and paper, the rest is up to him.  What does my sketch mean? I have no clue. I came up with a word, then added a face to it. And the rest followed. It's up to you really, art is a matter of perception. Like it? I don't really care if anyone does or not, I'm doing this for me and for me alone. So what's the point of all this? Learn to live a little. Do something stupid, step WAY out your boundaries, etc. Find some fun in this life before you hit a plateau of studying and working and shit. Cause you'll regret it, deeply. I'm not saying stab a homeless man or start stealing shit, fuck that. I'm saying do something exciting or something that gives your life that necessary spice/kick to make it fun. If you've taken my advice and it has worked out for you, then take this as well. Because I believe everything is said for a reason, and this reason is pretty fucking great. So let's move onto the next topic.

Kk shit exams, let's make this quick because someone is impatiently waiting for me to finish writing. I'm looking at you, cocksuckers anonymous, you know who you are. Anyways. Exams weren't THAT hard. I didn't care as much because I'm not taking ANY of the Sciences or Maths next year OR French which makes up MORE than half of my exams right there. So much useless memorization but some useful understanding. I prepared for my English exam SO hard. 3 days of preparation WITH practice exam, which was actually worth the work because I got an 80 on the practice exam. Considering that I have what people call "The hardest teacher in our grade" I think that's pretty good. So I basically rocked the exam because it was 90% THE SAME as the practice exam. I recycled the basic ideas and added certain details that catered to the topic asked of me. And so that's how exams started, with an Ace in the hole. Next was Anthropology which wasn't too hard, not too difficult but not too easy either. All exams went on to be like that, every, single, one. I wasn't phased at all if I didn't understand a question, kept my cool all the time. This is how my routine went. Walk into the room in the last 10 minutes. Get materials onto desk with 5 minutes to spare. Take out chewing gum and commence jaw movements as I listened to a euphorically relaxing song as it tenderly caressed my eardrums. Too descriptive? Well now you know why I'm so chill. As pandemonium broke out all around the room, I sat there quietly mouthing the words I did not know at all and remembered some horribly embarassing memories and just laughed it all off. Was I prepared? As prepared as I was ever going to be. But I wrote with no stress or recollection of anger or distress or anything negative. Wrong choice? I don't think so considering I will NEVER be learning ANY of those subjects except English. Am I a lazy fuck? Quite possibly yes, but I tried and my brain cannot comprehend maths and sciences like others. Is that to blame for my poor studying? Of course not, that's all on me. Am I proud of myself? Yes because I didn't cause additional UNNECESSARY stress which would be ridiculous. Did I fail anything? Not in the least. Are my marks good? Not in the least, again. Will they be better next year? We'll see. Am I too relaxed? Maybe, but then again I'm taking subjects I LOVE next year. So I think I'll get my chance to shine. This Summer I'm planning to do a lot of work on my inner self, should be fun. So stay tuned. I think that's enough writing for one day, I think I'm getting a cramp. Well this was a great warmup to my gaming night, don't worry I have work tomorrow so I'll only stay up until 12. Where do I work? I do yard work. "Lol that's not a job" Shut the fuck up and sit your ass down. How's about I give you a machete and tell you to downsize the jungle that is awaiting you in a backyard? That sums up my last Summer's customers, this guy just gave me a machete and told me to go crazy with it. Let's see you work for 2 days straight, 5 hour shifts, in heat alert weather. Then we'll talk about whether that is work or not. Still doubt me? Try it fr yourself. Try going out in pouring rain and raking leaves, or below 0 temperatures and shoveling snow by the bucket fulls. Then we can talk. So until then: Read it, Learn it, Live it, Love it, and Post it!

Cheers, MarkL

P.S. As a followup, I started drawing on my body again. Here's my latest work:

What is it? I don't fucking know, find out for yourself. Oh and I started rollerskating, scraped my knee real bad but I'm starting up again. Slowly but surely I'll get myself on a team, lots more to come!

Live, learn to.

No, I didn't misspell "Life". I meant exactly what I wrote up there, and that is to live. Yes I'm back. From the grave? No. From the depths of the Marianas Trench? Fuck that I hate deep sea diving. No like actually though, when I went diving in the Dominican it was beautiful and shit but hella scary. I think I'll stay above ground for now, thank you VERY much my lovely feet for allowing me to do so. Hell, where would I be without them? Probably in a rad ass-wheelchair. I mean, if I had one I'd probably pimp it out with stickers and speakers. Anyways beyond that, how have I been? Read ahead and find out for yourself! So, 15 minutes on the clock. Let's see where this takes us! Too many commas,,,,,,,,,,,this is just DELIRIOUS. Alright so back to the writing. Yup, I DID have my birthday for those of you that didn't know which makes 99% of you or so. I AM THE 1%!! So, how was it? Filled with strippers and cocaine to the BRIM!!! Yeah no, I am NOT on a drug called Charlie Sheen so no need to worry......for now. But I AM drinking pink juice, what it is I don't know exactly. Let's hope it doesn't affect my perception in any way too much. So, birthday right. Yeah I asked for longboard parts for the board I'm building at the moment as well as new earphones for exercising and all those times you just want earphones instead of headphones. (Omg he got earphones AND headphones? What a douche) Yeah ok well let's see you work shirtless in the blazing sun for 5 hours straight for 2 days in August at 11$ an hour WITH headphones, we'll see who drops first. And also, rollerskates cause I'm a disco type guy right? For realz though, always wanted a pair. I'm not talkin' the TOTALLY uncool inline skates that are basically ice skates but on land. I'm talkin' the foot-cars with the break in the FRONT. Breaks in DA FRONT stickers in DA BACK is the plan for now, I'll see how I'll be customizing them when I get them hopefully this Tuesday! I'm hoping to join a roller derby league as well sometime after I learn how to skate, the shop I went to runs a league and the woman said they're looking for some more refs for their games so why not? At least now I'll have a sport other than Volleyball to focus on. Yes, rollerderby is a contact sport. Look it up, watch videos, and yes it's becoming a mens sport right now too. Slowly but surely the popularity is spreading, THANK GOD. Anyways so let's get to it!

So my birthday. Not really as special as I thought it would be. In the sense that when I woke up I didn't get the tingling sensation I usually would when I was young. You know that feeling when you wake up, butterflies isn't even a proper term to describe it, it's like an all body excitement. Your face can't help but grin at the fact that it's YOUR birthday and nothing else. Your legs pick you up and SPRINT onto the kitchen/living room/wherever your presents are and it seems like your hands make it there before you to tear into that oh-so-sweet wrapping paper. The tears sound like perfectly orchestrated and oh-so fitting anthem to this glorious day. 1 after the other your reactions grow in excitement as the boxes get better and better. Well that's not the feeling I got that day, but don't fret because what I got was even better: a loving family. I woke up, hugged and kissed everyone with feeling. Because when you're young, you don't understand the importance of family as much as you may now when you actually need them for emotional support. A hug in grade 8 is simply an excuse to chest touch someone, only as you grow does it become a part of an emotional ritual whatever that may be. Yes, hugs were just an excuse for us guys to feel your slowly developing boobs on our chest and for the daring your bums. What do you expect from a hormone crazed 13 year old? No, I did not partake in such activities as I had my own bum and chest to touch. Anyways. When I got down from my MOTHAFUCKIN' bunkbed (I swear some of us are born and stay as kids for the rest of our lives) I did the whole meet and greet with the 'rents, hugs and kisses exchanged and I opened a couple of my presents. But what got me more than anything that day, was the card they gave me. Every year I get birthday cards it's not that big of a deal, or so I thought. When you're young you really haven't accomplished anything at that point in your life other than acing a spelling test (Yeah that's right, you're looking at the grade 3 spelling champ. BOW DOWN IN ALL MY GLORY OF 20/20 SHEETS OF SPELLING MIGHTYNESS) Yeah sure, you maybe drew something nice or aced a test but that's all you really have, the bare essentials. And as you grow you try new things, new hobbies, talents, etc. Then you start expanding in certain areas of your life and before you know it you've accomplished something meaningful! Well some of the time you aren't recognized, and that doesn't really matter for a LONG time. But eventually you just wish someone would criticize or say something about the work you've done, just any source of recognition will do. And if you happen to do A LOT of hobbies/interests that involve that kind of mindset it just all adds up. Waking up on Birthday morning and seeing a card that says "We are proud of the man that you have become" just brought a tear to my eye. Because I could safely look back and not only be certain that I've had NO regrets and I am proud of where I am today, but so is my family. And to me, that's all I needed. Don't need no cake (but I wouldn't mind diabetes in another form, send me cupcakes pls), no birthday hats (sorry, I mean PIMP hats because I had this one that said "it's a boy!" just in case my mom confused me for a girl, cause clearly that happens A LOT), don't need a lot of presents cause the recognition was one of the BEST presents I've ever gotten. The day progressed, A LOT of League of Legends was played. I'm getting back into it but safely. I don't play when I'm mad or sad because then I'll just take it out on my fellow players that don't deserve it. And if I DO play then I aim to win and commentate as I do because I'm trying to improve my playing overall and so far it's working! So nearing the evening we went Go-Karting! Yeah we drove out on the outskirts of Southern Toronto and found this great spot for Go-Karting. For 28 laps or so I raced like a MANIAC. You bet your sweet ass I drifted down that track like a MAD MOTHAFUCKA. If Need For Speed has taught me anything it's that there is no such thing as "boring" driving, cause it's ALWAYS gotta be exciting. How in the world are they gonna let me take my G1? Anyways. So yeah, and to end off the day I bought some fireworks and shot them off at the NT Field which was fun as hell. Just sat there with the latest Snoop Lion album playing over and over again and some cheap fireworks. What's better than that? A 3 DAY WEEKEND THAT'S WHAT!!! My birthday resides on a 3 day weekend which I count as Earth's present to me. How sick is that? I get a present from Jolly Old England EVERY year, pretty sweet if you ask me. And so, that was my birthday! Not long enough? Copy and paste and make the font size 72, print out and have fun.

So what else do I have to write about? My new upcoming album? Sure why not. So yeah I'm still working on it and recently I discovered a way to record at home which is what I'll be doing by the end of June when I will no longer have access to the Auditorium until next year. It'll be done by most likely mid July. By done I mean I'll already have ready copies burned on CD's with a custom design as well as CD cases with those nifty covers. Yes I do have an album cover I just need to edit it a bit, add some fancy font, some names, etc. If you would like me to reserve you a copy please let me know and I'll write your lovely name down and even ship it to you if you like! Or we could meet over coffee and discuss it? Whatever you like best, let me know at mlofichenko@gmail.com The album is going to have 7-8 songs I believe. Although it may not be as much as other albums you see these days, I think it's pretty good for a teen. Considering that I'm doing this ALL on my own and that the songs encompass a lot of the themes that I wanted to cover. Maybe I'll add in an extra song or two or take away some. Will I have a second one? Depends on how much you guys like the first one and how much fun I will have had by the end of the experience. But at this point, it's been a great deal of fun. I've just had to take A LOT of breaks in between recording sessions because of upcoming exams and whatnot. Also, this may be the last post until the 21st of June which is when exams end for me so don't expect anything until then. If I do post something, treasure it like your painless feeling in the skin of your elbow (go ahead and pinch that as HARD as you can, no pain see?) because I'll be working hard to get that post up if it does go up! Will I have new lyrics to post today? OF COURSE. Here you go:

Chorus:

We are our limitations, slowing down the creation
Opportunity it's you and me, masters of obligation
Now hold my hand and sing with me as I manifest frustration
The goals I seek are far too peaked, my battle cry to the nation



Our future unlike most beliefs is very unpredictable
The twists and turns that we all yearn for are unbelievable
We all want this, we all want that we can't make up our minds sometimes
The message lies between the lines that I create within my rhymes

We see our limitations, within our expectations
The mass of opinionated selfs is really a degradation
That holds us back from our attack upon our inhibitions
Our moves we make the time we take so that we complete the mission

The teens these days not know what they say and the effects it has on others
And the words that hold weight are much to freyed because they don't even bother
To sit down co-operate and listen to each other
Not judge, criticize, and fight until there are no brothers

And sisters, humanity won't ever change
As I spit rhymes into my mic no matter how fast, the world stays strange
Slow, crazy, mysterious, odd, unknown, delirious
This life is life, the Earth our home, and we remain carniverous

True balance never existed, the odds are always different
The continues nature of faith is everchanging
Can't live your life with a set of rules because they'll need some breaking
No constants, guidelines, facts as we are making

Some-thing, out of our meticulous lives
You can't expect to be someone if you don't open up your eyes
And push yourself beyond what you see as limitations
Because the greatest of the great adopted this tradition

Chorus X2

But don't listen to me fi what I say doesn't make sense
I don't see why you should waste your time at my own expense
My words hold weight, unbeknownst their fate, beneath originiality
It's you and you, and you and me, affected by rationality



That's all I have for now, I'll be adding 4-5 more verses but this is a work in progress!!! So anyways, that's a LONG ass-post (I like to hyphenate ass with anything arbitrary to the sentence for fun, get used to it). And you guys need to go sleep, late start tomorrow and so I'm gonna go read and NOT work on my English summative due Tuesday!!! Because I can do that tomorrow, besides I'm half done! SO I'll leave you with that, I may or may not change the soundtracks on the right, depends on my mood ring (yeah THAT'S RIGHT, I WEAR ONE OF THOSE NOW. How cool am I? Don't answer, I know I'm a 10/1 anyways) :* <3

Cheers, MarkL

EDIT: Oh shit forgot to add this part in. If I left this out the title wouldn't make sense. Look, y'all need to learn how to live. And no I don't mean drinking coffee when you need to go sleep. Or saying "hi" to a stranger. That's common stuff that isn't really THAT special, at least by my standards. I mean think about it, a simple conversation isn't "living". What I mean is getting a rush of adrenaline after you do something you KNOW you shouldn't have. Go jump that fence. Go post that print. Go stir shit up. LIVE. Until you look back and say "damn, that shit was FUN" you haven't lived. And not only that. I just see too many posters that say "Live your life, you've only got one" and with such sentimental sayings, it's just been dummed down over time. A LOT of you just sit there and ignore that message, meh whatever right? I AM living my life by riskily jumping over that puddle right? Please for the love of God do something dangerous and stupid, then walk out and think "Hmmm now was that fun or WHAT?!" Maybe it's just me and I have this kind of mindset right now, but personally I don't want to look back on my teen years and think "DAMN, what a GREAT student I was. Got SO much studying done in my room all by myself.......yeaaaaah that was fun." Like I said before, maybe that's just me but I want more out of this life.  I want to be able to wakeup and walk by the spot where I did some crazy shit last night or a couple months ago and say "Dayumn son, good job. Keep at it." The point of this isn't to inspire you to go bunjee jumping or start a drug ring. The point of this is to simply get you thinking. Idc about what, just get you thinking and see where it takes you.

Senses are felt
Thoughts are done
Memories are made
Actions taken

Afterwards