Involved

Judging by my frequency of entries this might be my last post before I leave for Ottawa, something tells me that will not happen. I had a moment of clarity some time ago, the sober kind mind you. I realized that throughout life, no matter how long or how short there are varying degrees of being a spectator vs being involved. From the moment of birth we are 100% involved with our surroundings. We are as much a part of them as they are a part of us. And at that point we have little to no independence because we are at mercy of our basic instincts: hunger, comfort, sleep, and attention. As we grow older we become more involved and are able to control these instincts, little by little we chip away and carve out our independence with the guidance, or lack there-of from our care-takers(parents, friends, institutions, etc.) Keep in mind that I am trying to be as general as possible so that this "truth" encompasses as many examples as possible. And then there comes a point of "true" independence when our choices directly impact our lives by our own doing. After that moment passes, no matter how long it lasted, a choice is presented: continue participating or ease off. If participation is chosen, then the person will continue being involved in the life around them. This is often seen in the example of a worker that rejects retirement and dies working. It happens to both young and old. The more hostile the work/living environment the more often this choice is made. In the case of easing off, the person starts to become less active in their work life and becomes more accustomed to a hopefully comfortable set of surroundings. And by "work" I do not simply mean a job. It can mean a number of things depending on the circumstances: travel, family life, student, etc. Simple stated, it is what you choose to occupy most of your time with. And so as you become less involved you turn into a spectator. Drawing upon your past life experience, you watch the world around you continue and comment on it just like anyone else should.

I realized all this sitting outside a Starbucks with an iced coffee in hand and sunflower seeds on the table. It was a pretty cool night, I was longboarding home from Bloor street. And so as I got to my seat, sat down, started chewing on my seeds and saw the moon, I realized that it was as if I was a spectator. Like someone who watches a movie. They find a good seat, bring their popcorn, sit down and enjoy the view. I did something similar, it is just that this time the show was all around me. Now this is only 1 point of view on what life may be like, so take it with a grain of salt. But I do not doubt that this is an interesting point of view. I hope your day is/will be terrific.

Cheers, MarkL